USC’s Advanced Editing

Once again, this was a marked improvement from last week. We are going to be locking this week, basically, and are going to have to settle for certain things unless we get them right between now and Sunday night.

So, roll up your editing sleeves, and let’s get to work.

These are the notes that I took during the screening today. Section 2 had not changed, so my notes might not be of much use there. However, we did talk about some things after the screening today, so everyone can keep on editing.

Section 1

Scene 2

I’m feeling that we need to have some music that would begin somewhere in her waking up shot. It would carry through the top of the TiMER store.

Scene 4-5

Can we get the wide shot of them in front of the store in somewhere earlier in the scene so we can see the TiMER stuff.

Her TiMER is different in style than his. Do we have a proper pickup for this?

Try and pick up the reaction time as they’re reacting to Brian’s timer going off.

The final timer insert comes out of nowhere. You might need to motivate it with Brian looking down before the insert.

Credits

I’d like to find a way to get a credit for the class into this, so could you put the editors credit back in and we’ll figure something out — maybe someone with After Effects skills can help us out.

Section 2

Scene 20

Let’s lose the first supermarket shot — the wide shot up the aisle. I’m not sure that it buys us anything.

Section 3

Scene 21

Try adding back on a bit of her watching television. Then, when (in the footage) she turns on the television, make it like she is changing the station. Then she finds the documentary about the tiger masks.

She certainly gets that dress on pretty quickly. I think the wide shot material we talked about today will help here.

Scene 24

In addition to the notes we talked about this morning, can you see if you can get a bit of Luz entering, so Oona and she discover each other.

Section 3

Scene 26

Let’s do the big head trim I asked for in the last set of notes — begin right with Matchmaker Ron beginning the benediction (”Jesse Aaron DePaul”) and then make sure that you get to a wide shot of the scene early enough so we know what is happening.

The music sting is too abrupt. I like the idea of accenting that piece. I just find the fact that it goes away and then comes back in again so soon distracting. Try and keep the music going. Also, maybe look into another piece of music altogether.

Scene 27-29

Then treat the music like Muzak. I’ve done it for you in your v499 OUTPUT bin cut so you can see how it works. I’ve also extended the music until the exit, even though we talked about cutting the scene shorter.

Scene 32-34

The intro of the roomies still isn’t as funny as it can be. Take a look again at my notes from last time and see if you can carve out the silent space.

Scene 35

Try cutting out as the man is taking off the mask. It’s odd to return to her looking at the egg, since she doesn’t turn away from the dream man first.

Scene 3ii

The slo-mo shot doesn’t work at all, considering we’ve never done that in the film at all. Also, take a look at putting some score into the shot of her waking up and letting it run into her running on the track.

Scene 38-43

We need the phone rings to clear up what’s going on there.

There’s way too much off camera here. I think, for instance, that we need “Oh, my mistake” and “Mom found me a date” on camera at the least.

The Dr. Serious entrance doesn’t work yet, because Dorothy’s face expression is very different in the wide shot than from the previous closeup of her.

Dutch entering has always seem a bit forced. Can you smooth it out a bit.

Scene 44

The shot of Cindy on Oona’s entrance is a bit odd. Maybe it would work better if you cut to Cindy when Oona asks her to go.

Once again, I think you need to put more stuff on camera. Comedy works better when you see people deliver their lines and then create the reaction.

Section 4

I am starting to miss music around here.

Scene 46i

Does Oona notice him twice — once after the wide shot, and the second time where she used to?

Scene 48-53

Try cutting back into Oona after the entire phrase “out of my league”, and have her react to hearing the complete phrase.

The transitions out of here are beginning to work. I’m wondering if they’d work better as two long juicy dissolves.

Scene 57

This timer insert seems wrong. It should be zeroed out, not at 72 days. I’m guessing that they mean to do some After Effects work on this to make it zero out. Since we can’t do that, should we just lose it from the scene?

Scene 61-62

Can you get out of the scene without the car exiting, just on Jesse’s look or somebody.

Section 5

Scene 63

Extend the beeps as we talked about in class today — so that they provide a sound bed all of the way for the silent reactions. Maybe there can be a definitive ending sound. Paul???

Scene 68 montage area

I’m not nuts about the shape of the ending of this montage. As we discussed, can you work towards Oona enjoying herself with all of the band roomies? Then, there are too many cuts at the top of scene 70.

Scene 70

Too many cuts at the top of this. Maybe just one or two jump cuts. And the final shot should have as much head as you can get — go back even to where the director is talking to the actors.

Section 6

Scene 78

Can you add any more of this? Like from where she gets on top of him.

Can you dissolve out of the LA night shot and into the bar. Or is that weird.

Scene 80-83

Titen around “pull away.”

Section 7

Scene 85 ff

As we talked about in class, the time transitions from 85 to 84 and 86 are abrupt. I think we should keep the rearrangment, but it would be great to figure out a way to make time elapse. Perhaps there’s a time lapse shot of LA that you could use to get into the Tiger Face Mask Man at the track. I’m not sure that we really have motivated her asking him to Thanksgiving Dinner. But I’m not sure that we ever will.

Scene 91 Montage

This area is something we talked about today. It feels like we need more time elapsing again. This is the area where I thought that making the Scene 85 porch scene non-talking might help turn it into the beginning of a montage. Though we talked about that today, didn’t we.

Scene 93

Lose the discussion about the surprise nature of the party if you can. We’ve already heard this joke.

Scene 94

The line cross area around “tumbling tubleweed” is brutal and may be worse than ever. See if you can help smooth that out — the cut from the ws to Oona is really tough. Maybe you need to go to Marion first off of the wide shot.

Scene 92

The shot where Oona reaches out of frame to stop Mikey from playing with the beeper isn’t clear (that is, the action isn’t). Would it play better on the reverse angle. It strikes me that this is a good bit of business, but we don’t know what’s going on.

Section 8

Scene 96

Prelap the line “Can I ask you something?” over the exterior.  You may need to add a bit more on the establisher.

The start of the music here is a bit tough.  Not sure if it’s the position or the fade in.

Also, the cut out is a bit abrupt.

Scene 101-102

Check out some of the sound cuts here.

Do we need the “snorted it all away” line?

Section 9

You should clean up your bins here.  You’ve got way too much stuff in your output bin.  There should be a bin that is just OUTPUTS FOR COYOTE and the only thing that should be in it, is the latest version for him.  In this case - v499.

Scene 106ff

Check out my notes from last time.  This area isn’t working yet, and we need to smooth out the time transitions.

New continuity

Let’s try a version where we go from 107 to the LA turning from day to night.  Then we have Oona’s Dream, she wakes up (scene 113), and then go to Scene 111, where her timer hits zero.  Then we can gut to the Birthday Party.

Scene C115

Try a version of the Soledad scene where Jesse looks up at her from his corner and sees her all alone with her parents in the bg.  He looks again and decides to join her.  Then you could cut to the shot as her parents exit and then he enters.  See if that’s too slow.

Scene I115

Their recognition of each other is still a little clunky.  I don’t think she should smile when she first sees him.  We’re telegraphing the moment too much.  Maybe you can just have her see him in the wide shot and then begin the beeping (see my comments on scene 63 about how this should work).  Then they each look at their timers.  And remember BOTH OF THEM HAVE TIMERS!!

Section 10

Scene 117

There seems way too much emphasis on Steph in the last part of this scene.

The music coming out of this scene feels wrong coming in.  I’m not even sure that it’s the right piece.

Scene 119

The Almost Famous music should come off of the shot of Oona as she is revving up to cry.  You may need to add some to the head of it.

See about playing a little bit more of the dialogue on camera.  “Believe in the timer” is one place.  I think the cut to him would be stronger if her were directly answering the full line.

I don’t think you need to cut to Oona after “stoic”

It’s a little weird to end one music and begin a new one a few moments later.

That’s it folks.  Great work.